The one constant in life is, ironically, CHANGE ... but most of the time – regardless of it being a constant – change is hard. I really, really wish it was easier. And as I have already stated, “the older I get, the harder it gets.” So much of life is out of our control. Change is everywhere. You have probably heard the saying, “Embrace change.” For me, the great challenge is EMBRACING the changes!
Over the last few years, I had to figure out how to LIVE without my parents after they died 7 months apart. Mom and Dad were my everything and a daily constant in my life. Sadness, anxiety, nostalgia and terrible grief are just some of the feelings I experienced and do still experience. I didn’t think I would “survive” the grief period… I mean how long could it be? Adjusting was a gradual thing, and it was hard; a day-by-day struggle. I wish I could have waved a “magic wand” and ADJUSTED to my life without them, but it took time, and it still does. I wanted to “rush” the process which just wasn’t possible. Being in “transition” is often difficult. We feel like we haven’t “arrived” yet.
Some things I have contemplated on change:
- Don’t blame yourself if you made a “bad” choice leading to one of those “very, very” difficult changes. (Extremely important if you find that the particular change is quite overwhelming and devastating). Move on, and try to make the best of a bad situation. Don’t be self-critical, or you will get “stuck.” Try not to continue to beat yourself over the head with what you “should have” or “could have” done because the truth remains the difficult change has already happened.
- Change forces us to “reevaluate” our lives. And in “reevaluating” our lives, hopefully we also examine our goals and our future. So it’s not always a BAD thing, just a NEW thing to get used to. Keep moving forward. Don’t stop. Try not to over think it.
- Look at change as a continuous learning process. Change is the inevitable, a “constant” in our lives. When we accept change (and believe me I am the WORST OFFENDER), we keep learning new things along the way – in areas of parenting, relationships, self-care, and many other areas.
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1 ESV)
If you are going through a change in your life, you are probably not alone. Take a deep breath, and take it moment-by-moment, day by day. You will get through this, but adjusting to change can often be a slow process. I like to think that change is God’s way of getting me ready for the next thing He has planned for me. Somehow, thinking of change in this way, makes me feel a little less overwhelmed.