Hi and welcome back to Coffee with Clare everything Thursday! I am so glad you are here today!
I have a young adult daughter, Janie, 22-years old, who lives at home. She is responsible, has some college, but recently got a good steady full-time job with benefits. Janie cannot afford to move out and live on her own. She is a delight to live with, and it’s no problem with her still living with us …
The PROBLEM is the men (boys) she chooses to date or hang with. They are mostly uneducated, not up to her caliber, and are “not-going-anywhere- losers”. I don’t know WHY she is attracted to this type of male! She has so much going for her, and she could so sooooo much better! What to do???? Will she grow out of this?
Signed – Frantic Mom in CT
Dear Frantic – Think back to when you were that age … you probably had one or two friends who were always attracted to the “bad boys” (or maybe it was even you)!! Trust that you have raised a very bright and intelligent young woman with good instincts! It’s not easy being “twenty-something” in this day and age – and these young adults are pulled in so many different directions today.
I think you need to let her breathe and obviously she is old enough to make her own decisions. Don’t harp on “the losers she picks” as I think that will only make things worse. Hopefully, since she has a good job now, she will be mixing with a better caliber of people (and men). As Janie learns more and more “the value of a dollar” – she will not be inclined to pay for all these non-working men’s (boys’) food, gas, rides, or other indulgences. I am hopeful that given time, she will “outgrow” this interest for the “bad boys” and choose a real man worthy of her attention!
Readers – any suggestions for “Frustrated in Georgia”?
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Until next time~