Sharing & Caring With Friends

Coffee with Clare

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Hi Friends – Welcome to our first Coffee with Clare!  I am delighted that you are here today!  First question – 

 

Dear Clare:

I am a 22-year old full-time college student who works, and I live with my recently divorced mom, Janet.  My Dad burned my mom, ran off with a young thing and divorced my mom two years ago.  My mom works, has a nice circle of friends and is quite active.  She is 48 years old, attractive and very lonely.  A few months ago, she started dating “Sam”… who, frankly, I can’t stand!  Sam is a “loser” from the get go.  He can’t seem to hold down a job, drinks excessively and just hangs around the house eating our food and expecting my mom to wait on him hand and foot (which she seems to do). He really is quite unfriendly and doesn’t have any kind of personality. If that wasn’t enough, he is sloppy looking and quite unattractive. My mom is blind to how Sam really is – I’m afraid he is using her.  Now, last week, my mom sat me down and said that Sam will be moving in with us!  Help, I haven’t even had a chance to digest all this yet!   What can a girl do?

Signed

Sam-aphobic

 

Dear Sam-aphobic:

Your mom is probably having some self-worth and self-esteem issues, and finally someone is paying a little more attention to her.  I would suggest you schedule some one-on-one time with your Mom outside of your home where you can talk freely over coffee or tea.  Tell her your concerns, why you feel the way you do, without sounding too critical of Sam. If she still keeps her ground, I would try to talk to another close family member (maybe an aunt, or grandmother), or even one of your Mom’s best friends.  If they agree with your thoughts about Sam, I would ask them if they can have a heart-to-heart with your mom. 

If none of the above is well-received, it may just take a while before she sees the light, but hopefully she will.  In the meantime, you may have to just do the best you can with the situation until it changes (i.e. she breaks up with him, Sam leaves, or she kicks him out if he moves in). Your mom sounds like a reasonable and bright lady.  Hopefully, she will realize sooner rather than later that she doesn’t need Sam in her life, and she can do much, much better.

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Thank you for stopping in today!  I invite you to email your questions, problems and “life challenges” directly to me at:  lifeainteasystreet@gmail.com

Until next time~

~Clare

 

Author
Clare is a 57-year-old fun loving Italian-American self-proclaimed “Jersey Girl” who believes, “Life ain’t easy street. Life is one of those crazy little city streets, complete with potholes that could swallow your car.” With one foot planted in fun and the other planted firmly in her Christian faith, Clare enjoys making people laugh while helping them navigate life’s “crazy little city streets”. Clare has raised two girls (now grown young adults) with her husband, Michial, Clare is ready to take on the challenges of making new friends through her blog, Life Ain’t Easy Street. With an aim to entertain while addressing topics important to women, Clare’s focus on the positive power of good stories, good friends, inspiring women, and strong faith will have you looking forward to reading the next post. Clare is a freelance writer who lives a real life in Jacksonville Beach, Florida.

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18 Comments

  • Sasha says:

    Good advice! I’m hoping “Sam-o-Phobic’s” mom listens to her daughter!!!

  • Jan says:

    Many times God is the only One who can speak reality into the hearts of people who have become blind to their situations. If you are not saved yourself, then do so by whole-heartedly saying the sinners prayer http://on.fb.me/1LNmAmA. The Bible says that the Lord does not hear the prayers of the unsaved. Then, if your mom is not saved, begin praying that God introduce Himself to her in a mighty way. Knowing Jesus and having a relationship w/ Him tends to open our eyes to the truth in many situations that seem hopeless to change. One of God’s many promises to His people (believers) is in John 14:13-14 ~ Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My (Jesus) name, I will do it.” Just keep praying. God’s timing is perfect!

  • andi says:

    kind of like a Christian “Dear Ann Landers” – I love the idea! 😀

  • Joanna says:

    This is a super cute idea! Looking forward to reading more of these chats.

  • Rhiannon S says:

    That was sound advice. I sure hope it works out for “Sam-aphobic” it would be a tight spot to be in. Enjoyed your loving approach 🙂

  • Loved your advice for Sam-aphobic, Clare. This is such a neat concept. So many Christian women are looking for a mentor’s advice. What a great way to do it anonymously and for it to be open to everyone. 🙂 I love your heart!

  • V. Dotter says:

    You give some good advice! Great job with that one. I am feeling her – 2 years is not really a long time. Being alone is scary, but my mother will attest to – very worth it once you get used to it. Freedom, baby!!

  • Clare says:

    Thanks V! Being alone is scary – thanks for your thoughts and comments! Thanks for stopping in!

  • Farrah says:

    This is such a neat idea, and you give great advice! I will send good thoughts their way! Looking forward to reading more of these! :]

  • Pam Bovee says:

    Good advice Clare! Sometimes friends don’t want to say bad things about your man, even though they know he doesn’t seem like the one for you. Your friends just want you to be happy and don’t want to hurt you. But, I feel like a good friend would be honest even if it hurts. If I was in this mom’s situation I would want someone to give their honest opinion. She still might let Sam move in because of the loneliness, but it doesn’t sound like he is a good man for her. I feel for this college student since they have to live there too and see that “Sam” is taking advantage of their mom. Tell your mom she is beautiful and has so much to offer and she deserves a man who treats her well.

  • Clare says:

    Thanks for your thoughts, too, Pam! Yes it’s really hard to tell and … sometimes receive the truth! Hard on the daughter too! I appreciate your input – and the mom will, too! Glad you stopped in for “Coffee with Clare” – check back on Thursdays for more!

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