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Hi and welcome back to Coffee with Clare everything Thursday!  I am delighted that you are here!

Dear Clare: 

I am a working mom with two grade school age children, and I am a mess!! Sammy is 10 years old and Beth is 8 years old.  Sammy plays soccer and his practices are two times a week late afternoon, and Beth takes tap and ballet dance and has evening classes.  My life is nuts right now.  Sometimes I have to leave work about an hour earlier than usual to run out the door to pick up one of the kids from afterschool care and bring them to practice.  I make up the time at work, but I can tell my supervisor is getting frustrated with me.  In addition to this, my husband goes out of town for his job Monday through Thursday night.  I think I used to be an “organized” woman but not anymore… I don’t know which end is up, and last Saturday I brought Sammy to the wrong soccer field… by the time we got to the right field, the game had already begun and the coach wouldn’t let him play the whole first half.  What is a mother to do?  I am frazzled, and I need help!

Signed – Crazy Soccer Mom in Colorado

 

Children Welcoming Tired Mother Returning From Work

Dear Crazy Soccer Mom:

Frankly, you need to start from scratch and get organized before you do another thing!  http://www.homeconvenience.com/index.php has a wonderful online calendar and other assistance.  This is worth checking into.  If you decide to go another route with a planner – I would highly suggest you utilize one immediately!  Post a huge monthly planner on the refrigerator as well as keep one as an app on your phone, or keep a paper calendar!  Get organized, and go over it in detail every Sunday before the school week begins. You must stay ahead of this or your life will continue to be  unmanageable! 

Now to deal with all the “carting the kids every which way”.  Have you thought about talking with other neighbors or friends about “carpooling”?  If that is not doable, can you afford to hire a dependable babysitter to help out in the late afternoons/early evenings to help with soccer and dance pickups and drop offs, and to help through the dinner time?  Do you have any immediate family in the area?  I would ask for assistance if so.  You don’t have to try to be “Supermom” – that’s just not possible, and you want to be happy in your life – not just “surviving” it.  Elicit your husband’s help in all ways possible when he is home.  With any “down time” he has when he is not traveling, get him to jump in with the carpooling, cooking, cleaning and daily chores! 

You had not mentioned how you are managing your household chores and cooking while your husband is away.  I would suggest you cook on Sundays and freeze at least several meals for the week.  Possibly also get a large family-size crockpot which would be good for at least two meals.  Check out coupons from local restaurants to get some affordable takeout at least once a week to give yourself a break. Get everything organized for the kids, and you, the evening before – such as laying clothes out, packing lunches, and leaving yourself a list, so you don’t forget anything in the morning.  Get your children involved, too!.  Make sure they have a “list of chores” – such as making their beds, and picking up their toys every night.

And, after all of the above, frankly you are going to need some “down” time.  I would suggest you and your husband get some date time on the weekends.  You also need some rest and relaxation for yourself, as well, such as getting a pedicure, going out to lunch with your girlfriends or taking a nice long drive alone with the windows down.

You need some help.  To get in front of this, first you need to get yourself organized.  Plus some of these absences from work are affecting your job, so please try to get organized.  It may take some time but a little planning ahead will help in big ways!  Last, consider limiting or cutting down on the number of kids activities.  Sometimes the healthiest families are the ones who simplify schedules to spend more time just having unscheduled family time.

Readers – any thoughts for “Crazy Soccer Mom”?  We would enjoy hearing from you as well!

boys kicking football on the sports field

Here’s wishing you some peace, rest, and more organized days ahead.

Thank you for stopping in today!  I invite you to email your questions, problems and “life challenges” directly to me at: lifeainteasystreet@gmail.com   I would love to hear from you!

Until next time~

~Clare 

 

 

Author
Clare is a 57-year-old fun loving Italian-American self-proclaimed “Jersey Girl” who believes, “Life ain’t easy street. Life is one of those crazy little city streets, complete with potholes that could swallow your car.” With one foot planted in fun and the other planted firmly in her Christian faith, Clare enjoys making people laugh while helping them navigate life’s “crazy little city streets”. Clare has raised two girls (now grown young adults) with her husband, Michial, Clare is ready to take on the challenges of making new friends through her blog, Life Ain’t Easy Street. With an aim to entertain while addressing topics important to women, Clare’s focus on the positive power of good stories, good friends, inspiring women, and strong faith will have you looking forward to reading the next post. Clare is a freelance writer who lives a real life in Jacksonville Beach, Florida.

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21 Comments

  • Tammy Adams says:

    I have to agree with you about being organized. Even though we don’t have children to take here and yonder, our lives are still busy and must be organized and focused. Thanks for sharing

    • Clare says:

      Yes, it’s important to get and stay “organized”… I have fallen short of that many times and it makes it all that much harder!

  • GiGi Eats says:

    Yikes! I get frazzled when I am super hungry… But even then, I am not completely off my rocker. It probably helps that I don’t have kids!

    • Clare says:

      Yes, me too! I get a little “crazy” when I am so very hungry! Ha ha – you are so cute, GiGi thanks for stopping by!

  • I agree that getting organized would be the first step, next planning shopping and meal prep, next seeing about hiring or finding someone to help with the kids when she is at work or being able to trust another team mom to get her son to his games, or something has to give. Her son’s soccer can’t be more important than her sanity. We hate to take things away from our kids, but a happier mommy makes EVERYTHING better and we have to have some time for ourselves, even if that feels selfish.

    • Clare says:

      Wow – such wonderful points… and above all a “happier mommy” makes everything so much better! We do have to take some time for ourselves and this dear woman needs a break – somehow- somewhere! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts!

  • Karen says:

    I know that you want to let your children be able to play sports and take lessons, but sometimes these extracurricular activities cause more stress than they bring enjoyment. Even kids get stressed out! Ask them if they really want to do these activities, then limit them to one. You can not be everywhere at once, and a stable family life with time for dinner together is important too!

    • Clare says:

      I agree, Karen, extracurricular activities aren’t always suited for all children. I recall when my youngest daughter was about “soccer” age, etc. I put her in sports and Pop Warner cheer leading because her older sister loved these activities… but this child was different – she wasn’t interested! Live and learn. And such truth – we cannot possibly be everywhere at once – sometimes something has to give – thanks for sharing!

  • Jenn Slavich says:

    Oh my goodness my heart is breaking for her! My advice would be, ask for help! She has really been put in a hard spot. I understand sports are important but is it possible to take some type of break just until life calms down a little? I agree with being organized, that really is the only way to stay on top of things. Our family is color coded so we know who needs to go where when by quickly looking at the color on the big family calendar. I do keep everyone’s schedule on my planner also (because I do most of the carting around). Good luck and keep your head up!!

    • Clare says:

      Yes, I agree, this young mother needs help and she should ask for help! And… yes… it seems as though she could use and need a break at least until she can catch her breath and get some rest! Wow – color coded schedule! That is wonderful – very helpful information for all of us – thanks!

  • I love your posts! They’re so helpful and insightful.

    • Clare says:

      Thanks so much Jennifer! I am glad you like Coffee with Clare and my other posts – appreciate your stopping by! 🙂

  • Paola says:

    I guess it’s hard to choose the activities to attend and not attend. I don’t know how I would do it.

    • Clare says:

      Really – it is hard…. I think when we are this busy we must pick and choose and sometimes – something has to give! It’s tough! Thanks for stopping in today!

  • Farrah says:

    You give such amazing advice! <3 I don't have kids, but a lot of my [preceptor's] patients are super busy moms who often forget to take care of themselves–I'm going to have to pass these tips along to them! <3 Thanks so much!

    • Clare says:

      Farrah – thanks so much for stopping in! Yes, moms are all so very, very busy and it’s so important to stay ahead of it… by trying to get and stay organized (no easy task) – I have been there! Running to my oldest’s Pop Warner cheerleading games, school, uniforms, lunches, on and on….. 🙂

  • Julie S. says:

    This is great advice here. It is impossible to be Supermom, so we need to come up with systems and routines to make things manageable. We can’t do it all, so some things need to go, or be delegated elsewhere.

    • Clare says:

      It is impossible to be “Supermom” and I feel like young mothers should be “off the hook” and not feel like they have to try to be Some things often do need to go – after all – a Mom is only one person! Thanks for sharing!

  • Great article. Being organized is a great help but is not always easy, I need to try and work harder on this myself.

    • Clare says:

      Me, too, Ashley – I need to get better organized as well… probably most of us feel like we fall down a little bit in this area! But I know for this busy and stressed mother – it is essential for her to try to stay ahead of the game!

  • Farrah says:

    You always give such great advice! :] Being organized definitely makes a huge huge difference! (I get pretty cranky when I’m hungry so I always carry food around with me so I don’t snap at people for no apparent reason! 😛 )

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