BEING FAT IN A SKINNY WORLD. Oh, the dilemmas of being a fat girl.
Oh, please, don’t be offended … I am not calling you fat. I am a large woman and I know it. I’m not as big as I’ve been before….. and I’m also not the thinnest I have ever been … It has fluctuated through the years.
Woman to woman, we can be honest, can’t we? As a “vertically challenged” woman, I have a few fears. If you are a plus-size woman, you may be able to relate. If you are a weight-challenged woman, you may not be able to relate, but I am going to share my fears. If you are easily offended and unable to laugh at yourself, you may want to stop reading right now, and check out a different blog.
So what are those certain dilemmas? Those moments of utter fear that haunt my mind as much as a bad piece of cheesecake?
- The fear that I am going to trip, fall and pass out in the local Walmart where the employees rush in and attempt to get me up off the floor. You know that joke, “How many guys does it take to screw in a light bulb”… Well how many men does it take to pick up Large Clare off the floor?????”
- That scary moment when I can’t get away with lying about my actual weight. (As a side note, that is truly the only thing I can think of that I have “fibbed” about routinely in the past.) I mean, it’s not like I am fooling a medical person – they have a pretty good idea but hey – I’m never gonna’ offer that one up. Consistent denial is sometimes appropriate despite what your mother may have told you when you were a kid.
- Sitting in one of those cloth-like lawn chairs at a party, and falling through the bottom, only to be stuck like an animal caught in a trap. Hey, it could happen to a skinny girl too. Whoever thought it was a good idea to put flimsy pieces of fabric where an adult would sit with all of their weight. Really? Whatever happened to “proudly made in the USA”?
- Another one of my fears? I receive a medical report with my name on it that reads “morbidly obese”, and it is not a “dictation error” by the doctor.”
Oh please…. Give a good laugh!
When I was selling real estate (back in the day before I-phones and text messaging), I would routinely meet clients in restaurants out of convenience. If it was our first time meeting, they would often ask, “When I get there, how will I know it’s you?” and I would respond, “Well, I am probably the biggest girl in the place, but I am the cutest!!!!” (If they chuckled, then I already liked them. It was also an easy way to tell who had a sense of humor, and who did not. If only everything were just that simple!)
Now, if you are a “woman at large” AKA “large woman,” you are probably nodding your head. We plus size women are a sisterhood whether we like it or not. While some people say there is a skinny girl in each of us dying to get out, I believe there is a large lady in every skinny girl – and she is NOT happy. While I am not saying that is the healthiest thing to be overweight, I do believe you have to work with what you have at the moment.
I know I am not alone. I am a big girl; I am healthy, thank goodness, but it’s not likely that I am EVER gonna’ be a skinny babe. Do I want to be overweight? Heavens, no. That’s really just a question a skinny chick would ask anyway – so let’s just keep moving.
Some lessons I’ve learned from being the fat girl:
- Big can be beautiful. I am a pretty woman, and I have learned to hold my head up high and carry myself. It has taken years to learn this – and it is called “self-confidence”. Skinny or fat, all of us girls could use a healthy dose of self-confidence. With a bit of maturity and age comes, “I don’t give a hoot what you think!”
- It is true that black never goes out of style. Keep the makeup light, and put on your favorite black skirt, dress or slacks. (I find black from the waist down is quite slimming).
- Get a new hairdo, hairstyle (cut and possibly color). A good hairstylist is cheaper than therapy and you don’t have to return weekly to pay for advice that you never wanted in the first place.
- Accessorize, accessorize, accessorize! (Hey, we don’t have to tell the young girls this, do we?)
The above are just some things you can do for your “outer” self – no one can fix the inside of you, but you. I feel so badly when I see chubby young gals who look like they lack confidence and have low self-esteem. So if you are one of those chubby young gals, or a mature plus-size woman in need of a good pep talk, here are a few thoughts to consider:
- You are special, and you are beautiful. I could tell you that until you are blue in the face, but you must believe it. You have to love yourself. (Write down a list of the positives about yourself – your beautiful smile, your shiny hair, etc.)
- It’s what’s on the inside that matters most. I have been told I have a fun personality. Consider all the great things about your own personality. If you are having trouble with this one, ask one or two of your closest friends what they value about you. I mean if you are shy – that’s okay. Maybe you are a devoted, and sincere friend. Write all that down, tape it to your mirror, and read it daily.
- Surround yourself with good people. People who appreciate you from the inside out, and who appreciate your fun sense of humor, your sharp mind, and your kindness towards others.
- Celebrate YOU. I would rather be the large lady who lights up the room than the beautiful skinny model whose body is under the lights. (Well – maybe I would like to look like a model for a day – ha ha). Let your light shine from the inside, find the things that you truly like about yourself, and keep moving forward. If you have a fun personality, give yourself credit for that, and be the life of the party!
- Ditch the mean girls. If you have too many of those “skinny babes” that just don’t get it about you and are always making snide remarks or belittling you behind your back, kick them to the street. (Or you could always hold them down, sit on them, and force feed them Twinkies… Sorry – it was one of those “between big girl moments”, and I got carried away.) Okay, if the mean girls are co-workers or family, it is probably a little hard to kick them to the street. What I am trying to say is: “Limit your time with toxic people – skinny or fat – you don’t need that.”
- Take some big girl baby steps in the right direction. If you are ready, get yourself on a good nutritious food plan and take it one meal at a time. If you “slip” up and have a bad day or a bad week… do not be too hard on yourself. Just pick yourself up and start taking more baby steps – in the right direction. There is no need to move backwards, you have already been there… keep moving forward!
- Lots of “little wins” are still WINS! If you are trying to get healthy and lose some weight, give yourself credit for your small successes and break down your goals (instead of saying I need to lose 50 pounds, give yourself a small present [non-food gift] when you take off your first 5 pounds).
- Get in the groove and move! Get on a simple exercise plan. Start out slow, but do what you can to start. Pick something you enjoy. I like to take strolls and sometimes do the treadmill and exercise at the gym. But when I am on my game, I don’t try to go to the gym five days a week and set myself up for failure. I start two days a week and if I do well on the first week – that is an accomplishment.
My journey has been long and hard… with many ups and down. I do want to be a healthier smaller me. Now that I am middle-aged, it is truly about health and wellness more than anything else. It is a unique journey for each of us.
“Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are.”
“To me, beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It’s about knowing and accepting who you are.” (Ellen Degeneres)
Remember – you are beautiful – inside and out – you must be right. I think so.
Love ya, girlfriend!