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It’s Okay to NOT Be Okay!

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It’s okay to NOT be okay…. there I said it… someone needs to!  And I really feel this is something that we all need to hear!  While I try to encourage and also love to read and hear encouraging and uplifting words, sometimes life just stinks!

Maybe you are struggling right now … it could be a death of a loved one… the loss of a job…. a difficult time with your rebellious teenager … feeling lonely… just a depressing or discouraging “season” in your life.  I always say, I believe life is cyclical.  We get in a “good” and “decent” cycle… and then wham bam – we are in a tough season.  It’s okay to be truthful and feel and say you are NOT okay right now. That does not mean it’s going to last forever (thank goodness, right?), but for right now – this day, this moment, I am not okay!

 

Elderly Woman having a headache. Stress and depression.

 

That doesn’t mean we can’t and won’t have a better “tomorrow”… goodness, if I couldn’t hold on to hope and better days ahead, I think I would have gone under a few times… we all would, I think.

It’s okay to be sad, overwhelmed, frustrated, or even depressed. Our culture places an unreasonable amount of value on happiness. Many people put on a happy face for the world, for their parents, and oftentimes even for their friends.  Everyone experiences highs and lows, times of not being okay for days, weeks, sometimes more. Experiencing the full spectrum of emotions is human, and giving ourselves permission to experience and acknowledge negative feelings along with negative “seasons” in our life is normal.  Let’s be honest and acknowledge things aren’t too great right now, at least not at this moment in our lives. 

 

han6.flow

 

But please make sure you are taking care of you.  I think this is critical to being in “survival” mode and getting through those dark days:

  • Make sure you are eating nutritiously and drinking plenty of water. It’s important to eat healthy, and stay healthy, by eating plenty of fruits and vegetables and drinking lots of water.
  • Make sure you are getting plenty of rest and sleep. There seems to be nothing like a good night’s sleep.  After all, things look better in the morning!  Unless you have been up all night…
  • Get out, one on one, with your sister or best friend – even if it’s just for a cup of coffee or a simple meal. You don’t have to say much, the mere fact you are getting out for an hour or two, away from it all, will probably do you a world of good.
  • Get some fresh air! Sit outside or take the dog for a walk in the neighborhood. 
  • If this difficult season is lasting into months, seek professional help.  You may want to see your Women’s Minister (if you have a church home) or get a referral for a therapist.  Ask for help, and get the help you need!   

And those who are natural “encouragers”, you can do your part in simple ways. Call your friend, text her, stay up with her, and ask her if you can take her out for a cup of coffee.  If she says no, well, that’s okay, she’s not ready to be around people yet – but she will surely appreciate your thoughtfulness down the road and will probably want to see you when she is ready.

THIS SEASON… THIS BAD TIME… THIS TOO SHALL PASS… and it’s okay to NOT be okay, today….Thank goodness Margaret Mitchell said, “Tomorrow is another day!”

There is one good thing I have discovered in my own life when I get back into a “good season”.  I can appreciate the beauty of life more, and appreciate good family and friends!   Don’t give up, continue to hope, and hang on! 

 

Han.flow

 

“When things are bad, we take comfort in the thought that they could always get worse. And when they are, we find hope in the thought that things are so bad they have to get better.” (Malcolm S. Forbes)

~Hanging in there with hope for us all.

~Clare

 

 

Author
Clare is a 57-year-old fun loving Italian-American self-proclaimed “Jersey Girl” who believes, “Life ain’t easy street. Life is one of those crazy little city streets, complete with potholes that could swallow your car.” With one foot planted in fun and the other planted firmly in her Christian faith, Clare enjoys making people laugh while helping them navigate life’s “crazy little city streets”. Clare has raised two girls (now grown young adults) with her husband, Michial, Clare is ready to take on the challenges of making new friends through her blog, Life Ain’t Easy Street. With an aim to entertain while addressing topics important to women, Clare’s focus on the positive power of good stories, good friends, inspiring women, and strong faith will have you looking forward to reading the next post. Clare is a freelance writer who lives a real life in Jacksonville Beach, Florida.

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55 Comments

  • Lexie says:

    I love this. It’s so true. I’m in a weird season of my life currently. It’s overwhelming at times but it’s nice to have the reminder that it WILL be ok. And it is okay. LifeAsLex

  • Thank you so much for your words! I lost my mom last year, and I just needed time to grieve and mourn and, as you said, just not be ok. My family and friends helped go through a very dark time in my life. Even if I will never be fully healed, at least happier times have come my way. Thank you for your words once again!

    • Clare says:

      Oh, I so so understand…. lost both my parents close together – over four years ago and I still struggle with it and the grief – they were such a big, big part of my life! It’s okay to mourn, you need to and I appreciate your acknowledging that. You take all the time you need to – to grieve over your loss!

  • Paola says:

    Beautifully written. I have been battling cancer with all my strength for over a year now, and everyone tells me im so strong and stuff, but there are days that I just want to sit and cry. And I do. I feel a lot better then.

    • Clare says:

      Paola – thanks for sharing that – I jotted your name down a few weeks ago so I can be praying for you! Keep us posted. Thank you for your candor – sit and cry when you have to! Praying for better days ahead for you!

  • Jessi Haynes says:

    Yes girl! This is such a good message! Thank you for sharing!

  • Yes, absolutely! I love how affirming this message is. And you are right on the money. Hang in there!

  • Very enlightening post about getting through hard times. One thing I like to do is start a new book or project. To put my feelings into something positive. ?

    • Clare says:

      Such great thoughts and suggestions, Mindy. So true, I find if I can “get my mind off” the problem for awhile and just get busy doing something fun or practical – that helps! Thanks for sharing! 🙂

  • Pam says:

    Good word Clare! I can certainly relate. We all go through things & have issues in our lives! Just being a friend & letting others know you are there is always a good thing. My faith in God gets me through each & every day!

    • Clare says:

      We do all have issues in our lives. And being a good friend is important I think. Yes, thanks for sharing about your faith – that is key for sure! Thanks!

  • I really needed to read this today! Thank you for your words of wisdom, a mantra that I’m going to try and live by!

    Lottie xx

    http://lottielamour.co.uk

  • Wonderful post! I write very openly about my anxiety and I do so because I want people to know it is okay to not okay. I so appreciate your post because I think it is so important to get this message out!

    • Clare says:

      Thanks so much for sharing about your anxiety – because I am challenged in this area too, lots of women and people are! And…. it is okay to have bad days and fall short …. it’s okay to not be okay!

  • Great reminders! I’ll be bookmarking this for those times that I’m struggling. Love that quote at the end!

  • Nance says:

    Thanks a lot for your reminders! You are like my mother reminding me of what I am supposed to do. That’s so sweet of you! <3

    • Clare says:

      Ha ha – Nance – now I feel OLD….well that’s okay, too!!!!!! I may be older than your mom, and that’s okay too! Glad you like the reminders and sure hope this helps! 🙂

  • Kate says:

    This is fantastic! I’m bookmarking this for the next time I hit a tough part of the cycle. Thank you! <3

    • Clare says:

      Thanks, Kate and so glad you like the post! Yes, we all need some encouragement and a “pick me up” when we hit a rough patch, for sure!

  • Beautifully written! Yes life is cyclical. That is important to remember. Thanks for your tips

    • Clare says:

      You are so welcome, Heather, and thanks for the kind words. Life has proven to be “cyclical” for me – for sure….. I am learning to appreciate the “good cycles” in my life as I get older!

  • Such a great reminder because I think so many people fall in the trap of just telling people, “Everything’s fine,” even when it isn’t and that doesn’t help you. And I love the tips of what to do when you’re in that tough season!

    • Clare says:

      I know – usually the first thing I do is say “it’s all good, I’m fine….” Glad you like the tips and I sure hope they help – they have helped me in the past!

  • Margaret says:

    I love this post. It can be so easy to forget that we don’t always have to be strong. I am also really glad that you encourage people to seek professional help if they are “not ok” for an extended period. There is still such a stigma against mental illness that people need to be reminded that it is ok to ask for help.

    • Clare says:

      Sometimes people just need professional help…. I think the biggest hurdle is admitted it and seeking the help – it’s often not easy for any of us! And yes, I agree, there is such a stigma against mental health and illnesses! We just can’t always be strong – we are just humans!!!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I appreciate it! 🙂

  • Daria says:

    I love this! Great reminder that we don’t have to always walk around like everything is always together. There’s always a better tomorrow waiting! Thanks for the encouragement and sharing!

  • Heather says:

    I needed this today. We are living in a very stressful situation at this time, my in laws live with us, I am their caregiver, along with being a stay at home, homeschooling mom to 6. People always comment on how up and optimistic I am, but some days I’m not and I don’t want to be.

    • Clare says:

      Been there for sure with lots of the above – (I didn’t homeschool, but my close family did and I have close friends that have). Lots of commitment – just juggling all of what you have is such a big responsibility and commitment. Please be sure to take time out for YOU – you may have to find simple ways to catch your breath! Thanks for sharing!

  • What a great post! So real and transparent… definitely a good reminder to a life with no masks.

    • Clare says:

      Thanks Shirley – glad you liked it and thanks for sharing your thoughts! Love that “good reminder to a life with no masks.” Easier said than done, but we can all keep trying!

  • Ha! Well this came at a good time for me! I had a super-productive day, but was still feeling a bit down. Read this at just the right time, and I really love the quote at the end! Tomorrow is a new day 🙂

    • Clare says:

      Glad this post helped you, Patricia, and that it came at the right time! Thank goodness tomorrow is a new day!!!!! Especially for those down seasons in our lives!

  • andi says:

    whatever we’re going through, God is always there – and He will see us through it

  • Kim says:

    I was just discussing this with a friend/coworker today because I’ve been sick and I haven’t gotten to the gym and I’ve been busy too. She said that I have to give myself a break and when I feel better, I’ll be back to the gym and it will be okay.

    • Clare says:

      Give yourself a break, Kim! Sounds like you deserve it…. and pat yourself on the back – some of us just “talk” about going to the gym (that’s me) but you are doing it! 🙂

  • Rhiannon says:

    Amen! I have felt this way many times because there are days when it feels like everything is going wrong. We all have those days, but it is important to remember to care for ourselves in the midst of it and grasp the truth that it will pass. Great post!

    • Clare says:

      So true, Rhiannon, we have to do self-care and grasp the fact that “this too shall pass” – some days and seasons – thank goodness, right! Thanks for sharing your comments!

  • Yup I agree and know what, I have that quote on my wall – I really do! Hey, I’m not going to pretend that everything is perfect in my life and same with my family too – it IS okay not to be okay sometimes, it’s part of being human!

    • Clare says:

      Love that quote! So cute that you have it on your wall – I love that! Yes, part of being a human being is KNOWING that we aren’t perfect and sometimes things just aren’t great!

  • Laura Prater says:

    WOW great post! I really needed to read this today. Sometimes we feel like we just totally have to fake it till we can make it.

    • Clare says:

      Yes, I love that too – fake it till we make it – a lot of truth in that! So glad you enjoyed the post and I sure hope it helps for our darker…. not so great days!

  • jennyb says:

    I needed to read this now. I had the year from hell last year and I’m still suffering some of the consequences.

    • Clare says:

      So sorry, Jenny, and I hope you are past the worst of it. I often need to remind myself – day-by-day or moment-by-moment just to get through. Glad this helped! Blessings to you!

  • Mim says:

    Yes! This post was perfect. I have been in a season of ‘I can feel the breakthrough coming, I am happy and upbeat some days, but I am just not there yet and it is discouraging and depressing.’ But, I can recognize that I am not where I used to be and I thank God for this.

    • Clare says:

      It is hard to be in the “waiting for that breakthrough” season that we are so often in. Thank goodness we are not where we used to be….. Thanks for sharing your true feelings and thoughts! We appreciate it!

  • Farrah says:

    Such a great reminder! So often, when we’re not in a good place mentally, it can get extremely overwhelming, but remembering that it’ll pass and that there are still things to find joy in definitely help a lot!

    • Clare says:

      Thanks Farrah, I appreciate your thoughts and comments – life does get extremely difficult and overwhelming sometimes…. but it too shall pass – over time! 🙂

  • Kathleen says:

    I love this post! As a full time student, who also works full time, I often find myself in a fog, that I refuse to acknowledge, especially when something is wrong! Bookmarking this!

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