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Living Large In A Skinny World – Part II

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Last week, I was sharing my thoughts on being a “large woman” in a sometimes “skinny world” … (If you missed last week’s blog, catch up now at http://www.lifeainteasystreet.com/?p=997.

This week, I want to zero in on – the craziest and most offensive things that have either been said to me or have been said to other “large” babes.    

  • “You have such a pretty face.” (Gee whiz – I kinda’ already know that – ha ha ha – if you don’t mind me saying that). 
  • “Are you pregnant…. or have you just gained weight?” (Yikes, oh no  – this is the MOST AWFUL ONE of all, I think.) 
  • “Are you going to eat all that? You are going back for seconds?”  (Naturally, if they are bone thin, I am I am tempted to answer back, “When was the last time you actually ate instead of just looked at someone else’s plate of food?”  
  • “I don’t understand this fat acceptance. Just because some people are fat and okay with it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be encouraging people to improve their health.”  (Do I really even need to say anything about this?  Smokers know they shouldn’t smoke, and alcoholics know they shouldn’t drink … but have you ever tried to go a day without food?  It’s tough.) 

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A couple of not so fun experiences…..

I remember one time at the doctor’s office years ago (I wasn’t even that big then), and this petite female doctor was talking and said….”Well, you are a LARGE woman” and the tone of her voice….. yikes, It was so insulting. 

Another time, I was out with a group of co-workers, and I ordered a “lighter fare” meal.   I think it was chicken with something, and I ordered extra dressing (yes, I know – I like to drench most anything in dressing and sauces if I can) and the young waitress said, “Yes, of course, but you know, that’s going to add so many more calories to your lighter meal.” – (I wanted to slap her; what did she think – I DIDN’T KNOW THAT????)

I’m not ugly.  I have nice skin, and I am getting more and more comfortable with my appearance, and who I am since I have “arrived” in the oh-so-spectacular “middle age” stage of my life.  I try to eat better and definitely want to get exercise back on my calendar as a priority because, of course, as I get older, I am more concerned about health issues rather than my appearance. 

 

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I don’t think people understand food binges, food addictions, or overeaters… they don’t understand it is a PROBLEM or an addiction just like when someone is an alcoholic, or a smoker trying to quit.  I am not saying now that all large women have an addiction problem or the like –  I am just saying a lot of larger girls, including myself, have an issue with  food. 

Do I worry about sitting on a lawn chair and it collapsing?  Yes! 

Do I worry about fitting my wide big butt in the confines of an airplane seat? (Of course – thank goodness I don’t fly very often).  

And my worst fear… coming across my own medical records and it stating “morbidly obese”!  Yikes! 

Would I like to be thin???? Of course I would, but I realize I am challenged with it.   There I said it….  

Hopefully, people who know me find that I have many other attractive qualities … and I am betting if you are a large girl, you do too!

Ok, I am signing off now to walk Bella, my little Chihuahua …. But I must say, I stepped outside to check out the weather and …. I smelled someone’s barbeque…. Sooooooo, guess what I am going to do when I get back from my walk? 

 

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So I guess what I am saying is, while I may be a full-figured woman, I am comfortable with who I am … and what I like.

 

Your “large babe” friend –

~Clare

 

Author
Clare is a 57-year-old fun loving Italian-American self-proclaimed “Jersey Girl” who believes, “Life ain’t easy street. Life is one of those crazy little city streets, complete with potholes that could swallow your car.” With one foot planted in fun and the other planted firmly in her Christian faith, Clare enjoys making people laugh while helping them navigate life’s “crazy little city streets”. Clare has raised two girls (now grown young adults) with her husband, Michial, Clare is ready to take on the challenges of making new friends through her blog, Life Ain’t Easy Street. With an aim to entertain while addressing topics important to women, Clare’s focus on the positive power of good stories, good friends, inspiring women, and strong faith will have you looking forward to reading the next post. Clare is a freelance writer who lives a real life in Jacksonville Beach, Florida.

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31 Comments

  • It’s hard to hear others comments on our bodies or size. Everyone large and thin have areas they wish were different. We can only be who we are and strive to be a healthy version of us. ((Hugs))

    • Clare says:

      It is hard to hear the often insulting comments – haven’t heard any that much anymore – people probably just give up – and I can handle it more as I get older! We can only be who we are and definitely need to work a little harder on health tho! Thanks for sharing!

  • Aishwarya S says:

    It’s hard to hear people talking like that about you. Thank God, no one said that to me hat to me (at least to my face). I hate how judgemental people can be. My quality is that I love to read and write. So if they just judge by my appearance, they’re at a loss of losing a cool writer friend. By the way, you are beautiful! 🙂

    • Clare says:

      I haven’t heard comments as I get older – thank goodness – yes, and people can be judgmental about all kinds of things! I am so delighted you love to read and write! Keep it up and be blessed! Thank you so much for saying I am beautiful (I’ll take it! – I’ll take it!) 🙂 🙂

  • Emilie says:

    Reading this made me realized that no matter what size a woman is, she will always get comments about her weight. Why is weight so important to people!?

    • Clare says:

      So true Emilie – people will always be saying something – too big, too small, too short – weight shouldn’t be so important! Appreciate your comments!

  • I just ate it when people say those things or similar things to me. I’m so happy that you are comfortable in your own skin. It’s a truly wonderful feeling.

    • Clare says:

      Trying to get more and more comfortable, Brandi, but realizing too I need to work a little harder on my health and exercise! Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  • Shann Eva says:

    Thank you for such an honest post. I think those comments are all terrible. I’ve been trying to lose weight, and on the journey, those comments are just hurtful and set you back.

    • Clare says:

      I am so delighted you appreciated the honesty, Shann. Yes, losing weight or changing any kind of habit is certainly a “journey”! Thanks for your thoughts!

  • Susan P says:

    Thank you for writing such great blog on Living Large In A Skinny World. People don’t realize we feel bad enough being overweight and don’t need rude remarks to remind us. I have lost 50 pounds with 30 to go. Every day it is a struggle for me to live a healthy life.

    • Clare says:

      Thanks Susan – so glad you liked the posts! I am so encouraged and delighted that you lost 50 pounds!!!!! Wow that is such a big, big milestone and congratulations – truly! God bless you – and you can do this!!!! I know what you mean about every day is a struggle – it is for me, too! 🙂

  • Heather says:

    I love part 1 and part 2!!! The best we thing we can do is put God in the center of our Health and let him lead the way. I am a thin girl, but you are right I deal with my own issues with food, like the fact that I rather eat pizza, chips and chocolate than anything else in the world, or I too look in the mirror and can be dissatisfied, i think it really has a lot to do with what the worlds view on what beauty is now days. According to the magazines and charts none of us are good enough unless we have a six pack abs and no fat- which is not realistic! And that is again why I turn to God for his view of me and my health.

    • Clare says:

      I am so excited and glad you commented about putting God in the center of our health and well being! So true, to true! Yes, it’s ridiculous for most of us to compare ourselves with the girls that are on the front of magazines or TV stars, etc.! We all need a realistic and healthy view of ourselves – and turn towards God for help! What a great reminder that we all need to! Thanks!

  • Alonda says:

    I’m learning that women will always be dealing with the weight issue. Too fat, too skinny, too muscular.. it never ends.

    I HATE when I am at a social event of something and someone says, “You should really probably wait to get dessert. You just ate that whole plate.” It’s like really?! *Shaking my head.”

  • Clare says:

    We will will always be dealing with “our appearance” it seems like. Goodness, I hate when people say something like that at a social event! Yikes – 🙂 🙂

  • Barb Hawthorne says:

    Thanks for all you say on your blog….great stuff! I really think that people who make comments about other people, how they look, and what they eat, think they are doing a good deed. Really??? I had a very thin friend say to me that it is looked at badly to say something about people who are overweight, but no one is ever told to not say things to thin people. She made me stop and think about what I might have said to her at some time. Me being of the big girl category. I guess it goes both ways. Hope this blog continues for a long time! There might be a book deal in this, Clare. Seriously!

    • Clare says:

      Barb – I SO SO appreciate your kind words and truly appreciate your following my posts and my blog… and most of all that you are enjoying it! Yes, these comments go both ways – really thin or large, or other “difficult” visual areas we women face with our appearance and really as I get older I usually just consider the source and let most of this stuff roll off my back!!!! Because, frankly, I’m just getting too old to sweat the small stuff! Thanks again for your comments, Barb! 🙂

  • Deb Wolf says:

    I gained 35 lbs. in 3 months right after Rev and I were married. My ob/gyn told me my husband wasn’t going to find me attractive and while camping with “friends” the guy told me I should be the one jumping on a branch to break it. I think everyone has body image issues. You go Girl! Be you. You’re beautiful!

    • Clare says:

      Aw – wow Deb! Goodness – thanks for sharing that honest story! Everyone does have body image issues for sure! Thanks for stopping by! 🙂

  • Andi says:

    i’ve been so many times called “Olive Oyl” when i was a kid – i can so relate…

    • Clare says:

      Andi – that’s awful – and the stuff we remember from our childhood – the “names”! But you have made it through! Woman are forever dealing with this stuff – big or small for sure! Thanks for your candor!

  • I am walking in your very same shoes and though it would be fun some days to wear a size 6 skinny jeans, I am most comfortable where I am and try to squeeze as much self esteem and sex appeal as I can based on the things I do have to offer. It is like waitressing, once in everyone’s life they should have to waitress, to really get people and understand the service world. Everyone should have a weight problem at least once so they can understand how people feel and how to not make people feel any different than anyone else. 😉

  • Insulting comments are the result of people speaking without a filter, and without any type of meaningful thought. And when those comments are about someone’s weight or appearance that’s just plain ridiculous. Everyone has beautiful imperfections of some type, and it’s refreshing to see more and more of us loving and accepting ourselves the way we are. Because we are all gorgeous.

    • Clare says:

      So true, Denay, a lot of people don’t have “filters”! All us gals need to love and accept ourselves more! We are gorgeous! Love that! Thanks!

  • eating addiction is very real and people who marginalize it need an education. You are beautiful….but I can tell you know that. Great blog! 🙂

  • Has something happened quite recently, it sounded like you might have needed to process something??? Either way good on you for telling the world and yourself how you feel and that you’re OK with it all. Ps. I struggle with comfort eating but I know it’s an emotional problem, I wrote a whole article series on addictions if you’re interested I’ll pass you the link. Take care and God bless and you are stunning 😀

    • Clare says:

      I’m okay with it all, Florence, however I do always struggle with portion control and food – and get more concerned about my health as I am now middle aged. Yes, boy, many of us struggle with with comfort eating! Yikes I know I do! I would love to see your article series on addictions – that is probably very helpful information – “lifeainteasystreet@gmail.com”
      Thanks!

  • This was a really great post, and for myself I can see a lot of the same thoughts in your post.

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