Sharing & Caring With Friends

The Importance of Amazing Grace

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What do you do when your dear friend’s marriage of 30 years just broke up because her husband ran off with a 28 year old beautiful blonde?  Or your sweet friend, whose son is a homosexual involved in a “same sex marriage”, is truly embarrassed for what her “Christian” friends will say and stopped going to church?  Or the friend who is married to an alcoholic, and she has stood by her husband who constantly verbally abuses her?


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Do we judge them?  Do we snicker and run to tell our other friends about their situation?

 Or … do we pray for them, stand by them and just be there for them?

I mean, really.  Unfortunately, sometimes decisions the other person in the “scenario” makes choices that we have no control over.  People have “free will” and “free choice.”  Sometimes these unfortunate things or relationships happen to good people, and are truly out of their control. The world we live in is quick to “judge”, but truly we never know what goes on behind closed doors… we usually don’t know the “whole” story.  And, in fact, it’s not our business to know!  But the truth is, God had a plan!  God uses everything, good and bad, for His plan and most times, God does not consult us about His plans.




God is all-knowing, all-seeing, and ever-present, so He knows when someone we know, or someone we love, is headed for a fall even before it happens.  While it may seem like we are helpless, there are some things that we can do:

  • Pray.  Pray often, and pray for those who have been hurt by someone.  Pray for their comfort, peace and rest. Pray for your co-worker who has the 21-year old that is addicted to crack cocaine and has been in and out of jail more times than we know, or that neighbor who just found out her husband has Stage IV lung cancer.  And if you can muster the courage, pray for the person who has wronged another.
  • Trust God. God can move mountains and do anything that He chooses to do – and remember, “God is in control.”  The heartaches and the challenges our friends are experiencing in their lives, God will use for His glory and the good of His people.
  • God’s Timing Is Not Our Timing. Sometimes the challenges in someone’s life are the consequences of choices made by someone else.  Sometimes it may be part of a larger plan that God has set into motion. This brings us back to the previous point… TRUST GOD – He knows the plan, and He designed the plan… it will all work out.
  • God Never Said Life Would be Easy or There Would Be No Suffering. God never promised life would be easy, and it would be a life free of suffering. But, God gives us help when we need it – and He will give your good friend comfort too.  So you can take heart, that He will help the woman who just lost her home due to her husband’s gambling addiction also.
  • Be a Friend In Need. Don’t bail on your friend or family member going through a hardship or a crisis just because it “doesn’t look pretty.”  Be there for her in her time of need.  You don’t have to talk, just be there and listen.  Take her out for a cup of coffee or a funny movie, so she can forget her troubles for a couple of hours.
  • Don’t Be Quick to Judge. Don’t judge!  That’s God’s job, not ours. That’s not doing anyone a service, especially the person in the difficult situation.   People don’t need any more judgment this day and age; they need comfort, peace and a friend in their time of need!


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The Bible tell us: “Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”  (Matthew 11:28)  ESV

Let’s not be quick to judge. Have you heard the saying, “Before you judge me, walk a mile in my shoes.”  (Anonymous)  I think there’s lots of truth in that saying!

One of my all- time favorite Christian speaker/ teacher, Joyce Meyer, sums it up, I think, perfectly, Before you judge someone else, stop and think about all that God has forgiven you for.” 




Simply put?  Thank goodness for Amazing Grace…

Until next time – your friend,




  • Amanda says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this post! It’s something that has been on my heart a lot lately!

    • Clare says:

      Wow – it’s been on my heart a lot lately, too, Amanda so I am glad you can relate!  Thanks for stopping by!  🙂

  • The older I get, the more truth I see in this. I had a similar discussion with a friend the other day.

    • Clare says:

      Yes, it’s a common challenge/ program for many of us… I have reflected more on this as I age!  Thanks for sharing your thoughts – sure appreciate it!

  • Yes, I agree. It is the most painful when people – instead of being welcomed and heard and helped and understood in the church – are being rejected and judged. It is very wrong.

    • Clare says:

      Yes, thanks for sharing your thoughts, Jennie, and glad you can relate.  It can be challenging out there – unfortunately often in the church, too!

  • Terri says:

    that is definite hard things to over come but for the grace of God go I 🙂

    • Clare says:

      Yes, Terri, for sure – thank goodness for God’s grace or none of us could do anything!  I appreciate your thoughts!

  • Maria Davis says:

    That’s a great list. I’ve got friends going through equally rough situations right now. It’s easy to look at them from outside the situation and see “all the right answers that would surely fix their problems” rather than just praying for them and being available and encouraging and praying for them.

    Thanks for sharing.

    • Clare says:

      Thanks for sharing, Maria – we all judge – it’s the “easiest” choice I think – I know I am certainly guilty of it…. but most folks going through a tough time and/or crisis need emotional support -thanks for  your comments!

  • Mary Collins says:

    Awesome post! Yes, we all have troubles and no control over what our family members choose to introduce into their lives. Thanks for reminding us how to behave when we encounter people in our personal lives suffering in situations they had no part in creating.

    • Clare says:

      Thanks Mary!  And I am certainly one of the worst offenders, most of the time.  I appreciate your sharing your “take” on it – and I couldn’t agree more!  Thanks for stopping by!  🙂  🙂

  • Joy DeKok says:

    Thank you. I could go on, but won’t. Just know your words made a difference in this old heart today.

  • Amanda says:

    Thanks for sharing! This is so true. We never know the full picture of what is happening behind closed doors. We should refrain from judgement and love more often! Great post!

    • Clare says:

      So glad you liked the post, Amanda, and I know we should all refrain from judgment!  We never have the whole picture and a lot of things are out of our control!  Thanks for your thoughts on the topic!  I appreciate it!

  • Diane says:

    I do not believe that God put us here to judge the actions of others. Everything that happens will come to us at the perfect time. The grass is not always greener on the other side. A 28 year old woman may not be ready for what an older man needs to do to keep up. Just saying……….

    • Clare says:

      Really really Diane!  So true – none of us should judge – that should be left to God!  I appreciate your thoughts and comments!  Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts!

  • Great post. As iron sharpens iron so a friend sharpens a friend. We have to be there for each other because life is hard.

    • Clare says:

      So glad you liked the post, Starla!  We do have to be there for each other … and yes, life is hard!!!!!!  Thanks for taking the time to share your comments!

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