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The Words of Our Mouth

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I have a big fat trap…. called my mouth, my tongue…. And oftentimes things come out of it that I regret, feel bad about and am sorry about later. And one thing is for sure, once we release “the words of our mouth” – we can’t take them back.

The tongue – what evil can come out of it… blessings or cursings.  I know it’s up to us.  It’s a choice we have to make.  

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  • Yelling and screaming at my kids when they were young, and I was an exhausted and a busy working mom. Often  I was just yelling over something stupid like to put their toys up or get dressed for school. 
  • Getting mad at the store clerk in Publix or Walmart when probably they have no control over the situation, and they are just doing the best they can. 
  • Lashing out at my husband for not doing something I expected him to do like run an errand for me, or do the dishes. 
  • When I’ve made a negative comment about a dear friend behind her back to someone else.

And the list goes on and on – too many times, too many circumstances to count… but you get the general idea.  And, maybe you have done or reacted similarly.

We often don’t realize the damage our “tongue” can cause until we’ve already said those words…and we can’t reclaim them.   Plus size woman gagged

The Bible in the book of James says:

“So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things.  Behold, how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire!”  (James 3:5 – NAS)

And we read further in that same chapter:

“From the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way.” (James 3:10 – NAS)  

However, there are a couple of things that have often helped me in this journey:

  • I try to gain control of my emotions before I speak. Give yourself time to think clearly before you respond. 
  • Think briefly about why the person may have said what they did. They could just be having a bad day, or they don’t like themselves very much. Sometimes, people are mean to others because it makes them feel better about themselves – and truly – embarrassingly enough, I have done this, also. Sometimes, mean comments are made out of frustration.  We may be unaware that we are behaving in a way that has caused others to become frustrated, and they don’t know how to tell us.  
  • Take a deep breath…. count a few seconds at least before you talk. This gives your brain time to re-engage before speaking.  
  • Respond, don’t just react out of anger. Think it through!  Chances are, the person who just uttered the mean comments reacted instead of responding.
  • Sometimes, it’s just best to say nothing and walk away. Be silent if you must, walk away before you regret what comes out of your mouth!  In other words, don’t get sucked into the drama!  
  • Bless someone with kind words or a kind gesture if you can. I mean, don’t be fake about it, but do it if you mean it.  Get in the habit of kinder, gentler words to others – who knows, you could develop a good habit!

Some scriptures on this subject that have helped me:

“See, I am setting before you today a blessing and a curse…” (Deuteronomy 11:26 – NIV)

I have to really think about whether I am just going to badmouth, be negative or “curse” someone…. or be a blessing with kindness and caring words … it is a challenge, and I often fall short.

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” (Psalm 19:14 – KJV) 

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I’m listening, Lord!

~Clare

Author
Clare is a 57-year-old fun loving Italian-American self-proclaimed “Jersey Girl” who believes, “Life ain’t easy street. Life is one of those crazy little city streets, complete with potholes that could swallow your car.” With one foot planted in fun and the other planted firmly in her Christian faith, Clare enjoys making people laugh while helping them navigate life’s “crazy little city streets”. Clare has raised two girls (now grown young adults) with her husband, Michial, Clare is ready to take on the challenges of making new friends through her blog, Life Ain’t Easy Street. With an aim to entertain while addressing topics important to women, Clare’s focus on the positive power of good stories, good friends, inspiring women, and strong faith will have you looking forward to reading the next post. Clare is a freelance writer who lives a real life in Jacksonville Beach, Florida.

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14 Comments

  • I guess that’s why they say “If you don’t have anything good to say, then don’t say anything”. Once hurtful words are said, it doesn’t matter how many times you say you are sorry, they are forever out there. I keep this in mind faithfully when I talk to my husband. Both came out of hurtful relationships prior to us dating and that is something we both made a priority. Respect, once broken, can’t always be repaired.

    • Clare says:

      So true, you can’t take words back! Great insight and thoughts…. can be so difficult….. and for me I have to really stop what I am doing and be silent for a bit sometimes! Thanks for sharing!

  • Sheri says:

    Great post! Our tongues sure can get us in trouble, but they can also do so much good when we use our word for encouragement!

    • Clare says:

      “Trouble” used to be my middle name, Sheri as far as my mouth… not that I have certainly arrived by any means and it sure is a daily challenge! Thanks for stopping in and sharing your thoughts!

  • Ally Fiesta says:

    Yes, the best thing to say is nothing at all. I know that is right. It is easy to get caught up in a moment so I tend to leave the situation so I can vent.

    • Clare says:

      I know, I agree, the best is to do nothing at all – sure takes some discipline though! I am better off “leaving” the situation …. at least for a while, too, to be sure I don’t say things that I can’t take back! Thanks!

  • Karen says:

    Great reminder. I have often been guilty of this. Too many responsibilities, not enough time, and not enough sleep all combine to make us short with each other. We could all make more of an effort to be conscious of how others are feeling, and control our responses to them. One day at a time ?

    • Clare says:

      Yes, I think we all have been guilty of this, Karen! I agree that we should all make more of a conscious effort – I know I need to! One day at a time! Thanks for sharing, Karen! 🙂

  • “Think briefly about why the speaker said what they did” – that’s a great one! And I think if I did that more I would hold my tongue more often too!

    • Clare says:

      I know, if we can stop for a few seconds or minutes and listen and think why he or she is saying what they are…. but oftentimes I get too wrapped up in the moment and bite back…. it’s a step by step walk I think! Thanks for stopping by, Danielle! 🙂

  • Tiffany says:

    I was just reading this verse in the book of James last night!! I totally agree with you! It’s so important to be mindful of the words we use. ***guilty party here!

  • Hannah Grace says:

    Thank you Clare for such great wisdom. I can be so quick to speak. I don’t yell or scream, but rather have those words that just roll out of my mouth. God has been gently reminding me that I should be more cautious and choose to be kind rather than right sometimes….

  • Clare says:

    Glad this helped, Hannah, and thanks for sharing! I think we all are challenged in this area! It is hard to be cautious before we speak, but I think we never regret it when we are cautious first! 🙂 But that’s an often hard lesson for us all to learn!

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