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Wonder Woman

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Do you ever feel like everyone in your little “circle” of life – family, spouse, kids, bosses, friends – expect you to be “Wonder Woman”?  To be able to magically get up, put on a cape, and whizzzzzzz through the day, and, get everything done (in what would take a normal person 8 hours to do)….  in 30 minutes!  Like someone waived a “magical wand” over us to be able to do it all in ½ the time than is humanly possible?   Why does everyone expect this from us women?

Young woman posing as superhero or wonderwoman

Who elected us Wonder Women anyway?  Why do we women think we have to take on the world? I mean, we obviously do have a certain level of responsibility, especially if we are raising a family.  But, we don’t have to run ourselves so ragged that we feel we are going to drop dead at 7:00 o’clock at night!   We need to face it  – we are NOT Wonder Women and there is no reason we should try to be.  In my younger years, I used to feel like taking a breather just wasn’t in the game plan.  

Mischievous Little Girls

Occasionally, I would break away and go meet a girlfriend for lunch.  A couple hours later, I was feeling guilty because I had left my kids, and I was a working mom.  And you young moms, who are stay at home mothers – I applaud you.  It is no easy task trying to manage a household while the kids are pulling on you all day; maybe you are even taking on the huge responsibility of homeschooling your children.      

Regardless of whether you are working outside the home or inside the home, maybe someone “shames” you into teaching Children’s Church at church or becoming the room mother at school, or working all day at the school fundraiser on a Saturday.  You have probably heard the saying, The women who are the busiest, do the most and get the most done.”   I think there is some truth to that one!  I mean, I loved doing all the volunteer work, but sometimes I just couldn’t do another thing… for another person.

But stop, wait, you know what I have learned through these last years as I am well into “middle age”?  I am NOT Wonder WomanI can’t just wave a wand and get everything done, and sometimes I just can’t squeeze another thing into my day.  And, frankly, I don’t care.  And I have learned to “delegate”.  Of course, my kids will tell you I delegate too much!  This is a nice time in my life because I am not “running” 24/7.

Here are a few of the lessons I have learned over the years … oh, how I just wished I would have learned these lessons much earlier in life:  

  • JUST SAY, “NO!” If you can’t be the “snack person” for your kid’s soccer team, don’t do it – learn to say “no”.  If you are not in a place to volunteer for Children’s Church, say no. Just tell the person asking right now you have too much on your plate. 
  • DON’T FEEL GUILTY! Don’t feel guilty for taking a few hours to yourself whether you are going out with your girlfriends, or leaving the kids with your husband and going to the mall alone on a Saturday afternoon.  We must “recharge” and “renew”, otherwise we won’t be any good to anyone!  I sure don’t feel guilty about any of that at this stage in my life – because I have learned; I need to do that for ME…. 
  • PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK! Hey, you are doing pretty good!  I always say to my kids, now that are older, “Well, I must have done something right. I didn’t kill you, did I? You’re still breathing!”  It’s not easy being a woman and juggling all of our responsibilities – work, home, spouse, household and kids! 
  • MAINTAIN BALANCE IN YOUR LIFE! All worky work is going to kill you!  And, it’s no fun either.  Don’t cut short the important things just to do more chores – like sitting and reading a book with your young child, or talking on the phone with your daughter who is away at college. 

elegant mature woman outdoors

Put your cape away for a bit, women; take a deep breath and enjoy your life!  I have a lot to learn, too, in this area… but I think I’m starting to get it! 

 

~Clare  

 

Author
Clare is a 57-year-old fun loving Italian-American self-proclaimed “Jersey Girl” who believes, “Life ain’t easy street. Life is one of those crazy little city streets, complete with potholes that could swallow your car.” With one foot planted in fun and the other planted firmly in her Christian faith, Clare enjoys making people laugh while helping them navigate life’s “crazy little city streets”. Clare has raised two girls (now grown young adults) with her husband, Michial, Clare is ready to take on the challenges of making new friends through her blog, Life Ain’t Easy Street. With an aim to entertain while addressing topics important to women, Clare’s focus on the positive power of good stories, good friends, inspiring women, and strong faith will have you looking forward to reading the next post. Clare is a freelance writer who lives a real life in Jacksonville Beach, Florida.

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37 Comments

  • I always good to take a little me time. Great tips

  • I use a little humor to defuse some of the tension when I’m explaining why I won’t do a million things at once anymore. “Oh my goodness, I would but my butt is just too big for those Wonder Woman tights now.” Surprising how well it works!

    • Clare says:

      I love that – that is cute!!!! You made me chuckle – I am like you – I like to try to see the humor in all things – makes life a little more fun, doesn’t it???!!!!! 🙂

  • Daria says:

    Clare, what an awesome post! I totally agree with everything you have written. I’ve learned a lot over the years and it took me the longest to finally say I’m sorry I can’t do this, I have a lot on my plate and not feel guilty. I had to realize that I don’t have the energy I once had, so trying to be Wonder Woman no longer exist. I do what I can and what I can’t do I don’t stress about it anymore. I now believe in “ME” time and take it whenever it is possible. Thanks for the reminder.

    • Clare says:

      So glad you enjoyed the post, Daria! It’s so true – we can’t do everything…. for everybody…. and I feel we need to learn to just say no! Thanks for your thoughts and sharing! 🙂

  • Sasha says:

    Great tips. How is it that we so easily get sucked in to MORE stuff to do? I’m getting better myself, but still have weeks where I have trouble saying no. Thanks for the encouragement.

    • Clare says:

      I know, right!!!!! I always used to get sucked into MORE to do…. a lot of us take on more than what we can handle. So glad you were encouraged!

  • hayli says:

    I don’t know how people do life with kids. I thought I would have so much free time after college since I wouldn’t be going to classes AND working- just working. But it seems like its just even worse. I DO always make time to workout-which is my own choice but people get so upset when I choose to do that instead of say go to a work “fun” (not) function.

    • Clare says:

      It is hard to manage our time, I still have lots of trouble with it and my kids are grown! I am so glad you workout – now that is something I need to get back to! Thanks for that reminder, Hayli! Blessings! 🙂

  • Tianna says:

    I think women, in general, try to do too much and tend to overwhelm ourselves with tasks, but it’s good to remember to take time out for rest and to love ourselves as well. thanks for this!

    • Clare says:

      So true Tianna – most women’s lives are just “overwhelming”. It’s so important to take time out for ourselves and rest, too! Thanks for your thoughts and comments! I appreciate it! 🙂

  • andi says:

    now about having balance in our lives 😀

  • Kathy says:

    My gosh, did I need to read this now! You are so right, take off the cape and say NO is a great way to start. I’ve been Wonder Woman all summer, shuffling a teen to theater rehearsal and hour away, making sure we all have healthy meals, and then when I started becoming the rug to walk on, I told my son to find a bus schedule! Ah! I’m catching on! Wonderful post and reminder! Visiting from Tuesdays Christian Women Bloggers Unite on Facebook!

    • Clare says:

      I am so glad you can relate, Kathy! Oh boys, I remember those days – being in the car hauling everybody everyplace! I felt like I was in the car more than I was home! Thanks so much for stopping in, Kathy, and sharing your comments!

  • angie says:

    OMG yes yes yes, they expect way to much and I try to please but may have to take a few of your steps.

    • Clare says:

      We all try to please – but most of us are doing the best we can! There are only so many hours in a day after all! Thanks for sharing, Angie! Blessings! 🙂

  • Christina says:

    All of this is so true. I had my first kid at 24 and I sure felt the pressure to do everything and be perfect. Two more kids and almost 29, I have learned that I can’t do it all and that is okay! I don’t need to. I have an amazing husband and support system, who are always there whenever needed. I don’t over schedule myself (or I try not to!) and I make time for date nights and girls nights with my friends- because those are so necessary!

    • Clare says:

      So wonderful Christina – wow with three kids you do need a break! And so glad you have a “support system” – that is so important…. my husband was wonderful helping out when my kids were little but it was tough because he worked crazy hours…… and so, so glad you are getting out for date nights and girls nights – I think it is so important for the quality of our lives no matter what our age! Good for you!

  • Lissette says:

    There is so much truth to this! I’m a stay at home mom to a 2-year-old and some days it’s all I can do to just crawl out of bed. I tell my husband that he gets weekends off from work, but I don’t. I also don’t punch out at the end of the day. I am on the clock all day, every day with no sick leave, no vacation time, none of it. And I get so.stinkin’.tired.

    I’ve learned that turning off the phone works magic, especially during the hours when you know family is going to call to volunteer you to do something for them, so that’s what I’ve been doing. I screen my calls a lot and get back to everyone when I have time, and if they want me to do something for them, when I don’t even have time to do for myself, then I simply tell them no. The art of saying no is definitely a learned skill, but a necessary one.

    • Clare says:

      I am so glad you turn off your phone, Lissette and screen calls – I think that is probably so important for your sanity! That’s a great tip, too, for sure! Yes, when you have young children – there is no rest for the weary – no break times, no sick leave or vacation time, that’s for sure! Hang in there – but it sounds like you have learned to say no! Thanks for sharing!!!

  • Laura Prater says:

    This is a great post! I struggle with saying no all the time! Comes from being a people pleaser! I need to work on…Just.Saying.No! 🙂

    • Clare says:

      Thanks, Laura…… yes a “people pleaser” – that’s a tough one – probably quite difficult for you to say no sometimes! Thanks for your honesty and sharing that! Just say no! 🙂

  • Yanique says:

    I’m just learning to stop trying to live up to unrealistic expectations. It’s hard to say ‘no,’ but it is so important to not stretch yourself so thin that you have no time to care for yourself. I love this post Clare!

    • Clare says:

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts and what works for you Yanique! Yes, learning to stop living up to unrealistic expectations – that’s important! 🙂

  • So unrealistic I know, I think it’s good that I getting my head screwed on right before I add kids into the mix though 🙂 Thanks for the post.

    Ps. here’s a WW joke for you… “I’m not saying I’m Wonder Woman, I’m just saying isn’t it funny how we’re both never n the same room ;)”

    Have a blessed day – Achama from Faith. Health. Potential.

  • Tamara says:

    I loved this post. So true! We need to take care of ourselves and say no when we need to! Maintaining balance is also so important!

    • Clare says:

      Balance and keeping balance are such truths, Tamara! Thanks for your thoughts! I am delighted you like the post! 🙂

  • Karen says:

    Absolutely! It took me way too long to get to the point where I could say ‘no’, but better late than never. Having even a little time to just do nothing brings your blood pressure down quickly 🙂

    • Clare says:

      So true, Karen, I love being in a “state of nothingness”!!!! I wish I could have more of that “state of being” more often!!!!! I am glad you have learned to say no as necessary! Thanks for your comments!

  • Leanne says:

    Great post, Clare! I would add, too, that sometimes we go through so many years (or decades) of never, ever putting ourselves first that we can become bitter. That is not a good thing for any wife or mother to be. Once I realized how much nicer I was when I wasn’t feeling like I was the last in line for anything (self care, dinner, going somewhere) I let go of the guilt I used to feel when I took an afternoon to go thrift shopping or went on a date night with my husband.

    • Clare says:

      Such a wonderful point, Leanne, and so true – so many of us have probably experienced the “bitterness” of being left with nothing for ourselves! Yikes – that’s hard…. I am glad you have let go of the guilt and get out…. but it’s easier now for me, too, as my kids are grown! 🙂

  • I’m struggling with this. If I could just hire a house keeper everything would be wonderful! 🙂

    • Clare says:

      I struggle with this too, Kayleigh!!!!! I am right behind you – I definitely need a housekeeper!!!!! That would be so so wonderful! Thanks for stopping by! :0

  • Carol says:

    Good tips, Clare! You are Wonder Woman!!!!! Good job!!!!

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