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Words Of Our Mouth

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The words of our mouth … can be quite devastating, damaging, hurtful … or they can be wonderful, healing, and beautiful.   I want to share with you some of the things I have learned … sometimes the hard way: 

  • Words can change the course of our lives forever. 
  • We can’t undo or take the words back that we have spoken, no matter how badly we wish we could take those words back. 
  • Words spoken can break our heart so badly that our heart actually hurts. 
  • We can knife someone with this sharp device (our tongue). Maybe we should take the time to “clean” it more (our mouth) before we use it as a weapon.
  • Sometimes heartfelt words spoken sincerely can be so uplifting, encouraging, wonderful, and delightful. 

 

loyalty.1

 

I am challenging myself to use the words of my mouth more carefully.  Maybe I have gotten a little better at this as I “mature in age”, but the jury is still out on that one.  I’m a “Jersey girl” and so in my younger years, if I had a particular opinion on a matter, BOOM, out it came from my lips – no filter, no matter who it took down or hurt.  But years later, I’ve learned (hopefully) to choose my words a bit more wisely, and thoughtfully consider the other person in all of this.  I mean, does it really matter what WE THINK, if it’s going to truly hurt the other person?  I don’t think so in the whole scheme of things. 

We can “repair” the damage we have done… but it may take quite a while, and it could be a very long journey.

A couple of thoughts: 

  • Take three deep breaths to speak when you are angry. Sometimes our words cut, hurt, offend, and break hearts.  A few seconds could make the difference and allow your brain to re-engage before speaking. 
  • Give yourself time to digest and think before speaking.  Before you actually respond to something offensively spoken, or if someone’s words make you angry, digest what they are saying first.  Thinking, you may identify the underlying cause of someone else’s anger of your own. 
  • Sometimes silence, really is best. I think, in some situations, we have to just walk away from the matter and/or person and realize it is what it is – it’s not worth arguing over, especially if you realize it’s probably going to make the situation worse.  As the saying goes, “Sometimes we need to just agree to disagree.” 
  • Before you speak, think whether it is going to add value to the conversation. Are we going to just “bark” back with cutting or hateful words?  Or are they going to be thoughtful, carefully spoken words to uplift or state our peace calmly? 

This scripture verse gets me every time: 

“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” Philippians 4:8 (NAS)

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1 (ESV)

“Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.” (Proverbs 21:23)

 

End of the Rainbow Pot Of Gold

 

It really can be a tough world out there.  Sometimes it just makes life tougher when we say hurtful or mean things to someone, even if we don’t mean to.  I am trying to do better – I often need to put myself in the other person’s shoes to do this.  And of course, keep my fat trap shut more!   Sometimes I really imagine someone just sewing up my lips! Plus size woman gagged

For now, I’m still a work in progress, and I think I always will be … but I am trying to get a little better at this – one conversation at a time….

 

Your friend~

~Clare  

Author
Clare is a 57-year-old fun loving Italian-American self-proclaimed “Jersey Girl” who believes, “Life ain’t easy street. Life is one of those crazy little city streets, complete with potholes that could swallow your car.” With one foot planted in fun and the other planted firmly in her Christian faith, Clare enjoys making people laugh while helping them navigate life’s “crazy little city streets”. Clare has raised two girls (now grown young adults) with her husband, Michial, Clare is ready to take on the challenges of making new friends through her blog, Life Ain’t Easy Street. With an aim to entertain while addressing topics important to women, Clare’s focus on the positive power of good stories, good friends, inspiring women, and strong faith will have you looking forward to reading the next post. Clare is a freelance writer who lives a real life in Jacksonville Beach, Florida.

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30 Comments

  • Kate says:

    Very good advice! Thanks Clare!

  • Really brings to mind Psalm 19:14- Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.

    Thanks for this reminder!

  • Many times keeping silent keeps the peace. And it is never a good thing to be intentionally hurtful. Often though words unsaid can fester resentments. The hard part is knowing when to speak your mind and how to temper your words. Interesting post!

    • Clare says:

      Really such words of wisdom, Teresa. Thanks for your thoughts. Can’t take words back and sometimes I really, really want to “duct tape” my mouth shut! It is hard for all of us to temper our words! Thanks!

  • Tiffany says:

    So true! I think about this with my girls all the time. My mother was a yeller type parent so, naturally, I am too. Yet, I know it’s damaging to them. There are other ways to handle my frustrations!

    • Clare says:

      Oh, believe me, Tiffany, you are certainly not alone! I used to yell all the time when my girls were young – it’s the first point of reaction …. we are all doing the best we can! Thanks for sharing!

  • Jessi Haynes says:

    This is such great advice. Have you read The Five Love Languages? One of the love languages is Words of Affirmation, and one of the things that means is that people who have that as their love language feel negative words more deeply than others. It’s my husband’s love language! I have learned so much from that book.

    • Clare says:

      I loved that book…. BUT it was a few years ago and I need to re-read it! Was really good. Thanks for the reminder and sharing!

  • meeshel says:

    Thank you, my first blog read, and it answers the 1st prayer of my day!! Nicely done! m

  • Nance says:

    Such a noble reminder. Thanks. <3

  • Pam says:

    The struggle is real! Sometimes we just want to tell someone how we really feel & it may hurt & not everyone can handle the truth. I agree with, at times it is better to be silent. You don’t have to say just whatever pops into your head. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but I do want to be honest & let others know how I feel by doing that in a compassionate & caring way. I have to quote scripture in my head at times. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

    • Clare says:

      I think it’s a balancing act between when to talk and when to be silent. I surely agree that it is important to be honest especially with family and friends who we are close to, but I have learned to try to “temper” my speaking with positive words too and encouragement… but that’s still a work in progress for sure! And thank you, Pam, for speaking your mind!!!!! 🙂

  • Susan Gaddis says:

    Good stuff here, Clare. And like you said… we have to take it one conversation at a time. I do think it gets easier the more we monitor our words, intentions, and heart. 🙂

    • Clare says:

      Thanks Susan – it is an effort I think for most people to monitor our words and heart! Work in progress for sure!!!!! 🙂

  • I really had to experience being caught in my mixed stories (aka lies!) repeatedly when I was growing up to realize that it’s never, ever okay to lie, no matter how harmless it may seem. At the same time, learning from Philippians, it’s better not to speak at all than to be completely honest if it’s just going to be an awful opinion (not truth).

    Great post!

    • Clare says:

      So true… I don’t think it’s okay to lie, either. Thanks so much for your insight and sharing your own experiences! It helps us all! 🙂

  • This is such a beautiful post. Thank you for the reminder. I need to polish up my vocabulary and learn how to use my words more wisely, especially when it comes to my husband and I.

    • Clare says:

      I am delighted that you liked the post, Jennifer. Yes, me too – I need to freshen up and be mindful of my words – especially to my husband, me daughters and people whom I am close to! We seem to be the toughest on our own families! Blessings! 🙂

  • andi says:

    Prov. 18:21 – i definitely need to see this one 😀

  • This has been something I have still not won the battle over — James was written for me! I loved the verses you quoted as well as the thoughts that will help control our tongues.

    • Clare says:

      Really Tammy – you are certainly not alone…. we are only human after all…. but I have to remind myself often to think before I speak, or at least hesitate! Thanks for sharing1

  • dani says:

    lol… I get told I’m pretty blunt at time but I am also trying to choose my words carefully. Good Luck!

    xoxo Dani
    http://www.glamrme.com

    • Clare says:

      Ha ha, Dani – I have certainly been told that too! It’s important to be honest for sure… .but I am trying to learn to soften it and temper it with positive opinions and speaking, too! It’s a “journey” for sure and I certainly have not “arrived” yet! Thanks for sharing! 🙂

  • What great encouragement, Clare. This is great advice to share with children, especially as they are about to go back to school. Words are powerful. Let’s use them to build other up, not tear them down. 🙂 Thank you for sharing your heart on this.

    • Clare says:

      I am so glad you were encouraged by this post, Kelsey! Words are powerful – thanks so much for stopping in! 🙂

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